tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3029491889310063596.post8743277141083461778..comments2024-03-28T12:21:40.925-04:00Comments on The Girdle of Melian: Let's Talk Blogfest - Dialogue SnipDeniz Bevanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17134553551048836979noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3029491889310063596.post-33941228106246324712010-05-23T19:27:13.153-04:002010-05-23T19:27:13.153-04:00Thanks Roni! And thanks for hosting the fest!Thanks Roni! And thanks for hosting the fest!Deniz Bevanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17134553551048836979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3029491889310063596.post-22279392710653644912010-05-22T10:11:25.111-04:002010-05-22T10:11:25.111-04:00Great job, really pulled me in. :) I agree with ...Great job, really pulled me in. :) I agree with lapetus, the only that threw me was that she didn't have some visceral reaction immediately after he dropped the news about being her father. But other than that, it flowed really well and made me want to read more. :)Roni Lorenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02719679344024635326noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3029491889310063596.post-36685967683893169802010-05-21T12:50:53.635-04:002010-05-21T12:50:53.635-04:00Thanks everyone for reading, I'm so flattered ...Thanks everyone for reading, I'm so flattered :-)<br />I hope to post more snips in the next little while as *gasp* the wip nears completion.<br />Oh, and for the record, he's not really her uncle - he's her family's best friend and neighbour.<br />And of course he's not really any of those things, he's really her dad :-)<br /><br />Go Habs Go! (I feel more confident saying this now after last night)Deniz Bevanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17134553551048836979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3029491889310063596.post-35682611508764306432010-05-20T15:04:18.254-04:002010-05-20T15:04:18.254-04:00This is a great setting, historically! I can see w...This is a great setting, historically! I can see why this is one of the most important exchanges for your MC. Interesting!Amalia Dillinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13005039978668326144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3029491889310063596.post-64910589888081437692010-05-19T10:39:25.392-04:002010-05-19T10:39:25.392-04:00Hey I just spotted me myself I in your sidebar! Wo...Hey I just spotted me myself I in your sidebar! Wow! THANK YOU!!!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11046724975658216337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3029491889310063596.post-3265113990321476992010-05-18T23:27:15.303-04:002010-05-18T23:27:15.303-04:00I do want to read more. Why did the father pose as...I do want to read more. Why did the father pose as her uncle? The details of the surroundings add depth to the conversation.<br /><br />Your dialogue had a natural flow. Oh, and about your question of Samuel McCord's fate : there are worse fates than dying, and only the truer hearts know them, RolandRoland D. Yeomanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00338410857990551352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3029491889310063596.post-91362681641553242012010-05-18T22:04:30.264-04:002010-05-18T22:04:30.264-04:00Well, I wasn't surprised a bit *beg* But, I am...Well, I wasn't surprised a bit *beg* But, I am so happy to have finally seen the scene! It's a great Deniz.<br /><br />Okay, I said it earlier - but one more.<br />Go Habs.<br />And that's the last you'll hear me cheer them on - everyone deserves to win at least one game ;-p Sweeps make me sad.<br /><br />Sorry for the delete - all this back and forth writing is messing with my brain, and spelling ability!Tarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09008153523366719973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3029491889310063596.post-45336090341353659892010-05-18T22:02:21.286-04:002010-05-18T22:02:21.286-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Tarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09008153523366719973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3029491889310063596.post-26584490703505149962010-05-18T20:31:35.020-04:002010-05-18T20:31:35.020-04:00That was a shocker! Very well done, I wasn't e...That was a shocker! Very well done, I wasn't expecting that at all. Sounds like this story's got some good secrets to uncover.Susan Fieldshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02433408456603462774noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3029491889310063596.post-60078222666084695282010-05-18T19:06:08.575-04:002010-05-18T19:06:08.575-04:00I love that last line, where her heart closes the ...I love that last line, where her heart closes the doors--very descriptive of this powerful moment.Tricia J. O'Brienhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05993110400088806252noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3029491889310063596.post-53432918806589351472010-05-18T19:06:00.058-04:002010-05-18T19:06:00.058-04:00Thanks guys, I'm glad you liked it! Off to che...Thanks guys, I'm glad you liked it! Off to check out yours :-)Deniz Bevanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17134553551048836979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3029491889310063596.post-23101415505097272802010-05-18T12:55:53.185-04:002010-05-18T12:55:53.185-04:00Great job steering the conversation in a way that ...Great job steering the conversation in a way that drew me into the scene and set the tone of the period. That was quite the bombshell Uncle San dropped!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01899768909313326172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3029491889310063596.post-46327764305668139222010-05-18T11:21:13.295-04:002010-05-18T11:21:13.295-04:00I find it hard to believe being cooped up in a shi...I find it hard to believe being cooped up in a ship for months with stinking men could sound like freedom as much as escape, but I understand where it comes from.<br />This is a big bombshell...the talk of holding hands distracts from the moment and dulls the impact.<br />Very interesting setup...does she stow away on the Santa Anna (I thought it was the Santa Maria?)Andrew Rosenberghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3029491889310063596.post-40254625464969123822010-05-18T09:35:43.948-04:002010-05-18T09:35:43.948-04:00Smooth writing, easy read...love the 'no chore...Smooth writing, easy read...love the 'no chores, no responsibilities' line... ahaha, right! And what a revelation at the end there! I really like the way you kind of glossed over his saying it the first time, illustrating the fact that she hadn't really heard... <br /><br />Well done!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11046724975658216337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3029491889310063596.post-80467331989179564642010-05-18T08:53:11.566-04:002010-05-18T08:53:11.566-04:00This is great writing! I love the scenery around t...This is great writing! I love the scenery around the conversation (flickering fins-very nice detail)Aubriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10884036126491922530noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3029491889310063596.post-71656194380775661272010-05-18T07:36:39.784-04:002010-05-18T07:36:39.784-04:00Wow, I was so sucked in, the bomb at the end reall...Wow, I was so sucked in, the bomb at the end really surprised me. I want to read more!Anne Gallagherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05816355522284492131noreply@blogger.com