A Double Contest and ROW80 Check In

Disgruntled Bear, aka Kate Kaynak, author of the Ganzfield series, is hosting a contest - win an in-depth critique of your query letter and the first ten pages of your fiction manuscript.

Post a comment before Friday with the following information:
Awesome Line

Exactly. Therein lies the rub. I need an awesome line and I'm not very good at coming up with tags and blurbs and so on.

Followers one and all, can you help me come up with an awesome line for Out of the Water (historical romance, set in 1492)?

Given this back cover description:

Exiled from her Spanish homeland by the Inquisition and separated from her family as they flee their home, 18 year old Rosa must place her life in the hands of a stranger from the Ottoman Empire. Baha, estranged from his own father and returning to his homeland after ten years, is her one hope of reaching Constantinople and reuniting with her family. The fact that he's attractive and tender is an unexpected pleasure.

As they travel together, her burning drive to be reunited with her loved ones is matched by a deepening desire for the man at her side -- but all too soon they may run out of time to be together. Rosa's family will likely not accept her marriage to a man of different faith, let alone one who has been renounced by his family. Yet before she can even introduce them, their reunion is cut short by the arrest of her father and brother at the hands of the Sultan's Grand Vizier. Rosa and Baha are the only ones that can rescue them, and together prove that their love can withstand their differences.


If I end up using your suggestions, there's a prize from me, too - choice of a free critique of your first page or 10$ through PayPal (in case you want to support a local bookseller instead of Amazon).

Just in case you hadn't noticed, the letters are all in support of everyone doing the A-Z Challenge, you brave people you! Despite some minor distractions, I've - nearly - been meeting my goal of editing a page a day. I'm on page 105 of 195 in editing in paper, and have entered all the changes up to page 65 in the manuscript.

Still a worrying number of square brackets. I really know next to nothing about Medieval/Humanist/Renaissance clothing...


Claire Farrell said…
Well done on the progress so far!

Sorry I can't be any help with the awesome line. I'm ridiculously bad at anything resembling a blurb/hook/bio/synopsis/condensed versions of anything. Good luck with it though and I hope someone else is actually helpful. ;)
alberta ross said…
can't help aren't we're a useless pair!! you seem to be doing okay and thanks for the letters - it is fun the a-z but not leaving a lot of time for anything else. Best of luck with finding your line and your clothing
CathrynLouis said…
A-Z challenge sounds fun, but I'm all about the rewriting these days. Best of luck with finding your line.
Deniz Bevan said…
Thank you Claire, Alberta and Cathryn! I'm hopeless too - I even had help on that blurb. Just can't be pithy, it seems...
Nadja Notariani said…
Hi Deniz! The blurb for your novel is one that would make me buy the book! I'm expecially fond of anything dealing with the Ottoman Empire. I stopped by via ROW80 ~ good luck meeting your goals. I'm looking forward to following your progress, and when I'm more familiar with your work and writing style, maybe I'll have something to offer....ie your tag like request. Stop by my blog anytime. ~ Nadja
Deniz Bevan said…
Thanks for coming by Nadja! I'm glad you liked the blurb :-)
Gabrielle said…
Ottoman Empire? That sounds interesting. The blurb sounds great. I'm looking forward to hearing more about it.

Good luck with the next week of ROW 80!

L'Aussie said…
Hi Deniz. You should be proud to be making such good progress despite the A-Z. I'm not managing as much as I'd like but hey it's nearly Easter and I'm going away for 10 days at the beach. Yum.

Too early in the morning to be of any help but what I read sounds great.


L'Aussie Travel Blog A-Z Challenge I is for Ibiza
Deniz Bevan said…
Thank you Gabrielle and Denise! Ooh, the beach... I wonder if it's too late to plan a long weekend getaway?
Nas Dean said…
Sounds great. And you can plan a long weekend at the warm, sunny beach here with me. As it's always sunny here!
Nadja Notariani said…
Well, I've been thinking about your awesome line. Since I'm not exactly sure what you're looking for, I came up with only one 'sweeping' sentence. If you're looking for something entirely different let me know.....I like coming up with 'tag' lines.
" 'Out of the Water' sets a dangerous and passionate course across the Ottoman Empire, transforming exile and estrangement into a love that must transcend faith and family, East and West."
Zan Marie said…
You know I love "Out of the Water" and anything to do with Rosa and the men in her life, but the line is too back flap. Now, Nadja has an idea worth exploring. ; ) Keep plugging at it.

Of course, you know I'm not expert at this! Think of how long it took me to realize the full scope of my WIP. And who's to say I'm done yet? ; )
Chris Phillips said…
Inquisition killed the cat?
Anonymous said…
Baha and Rosa, lovers from different faiths during the time of the Ottoman Empire, suffer familial and political opposition that promises to tear them apart.

I don't know. This is hard. Good luck.
Susan Fields said…
Good luck with this - sounds like an awesome contest!
India Drummond said…
I think I'm about to give up on the A-Z challenge! The list of thousands seems to have overwhelmeded everyone, and I've spent more time blogging this month than doing actually writing things. That on top of all my book launch stuff, and I've got no time left!

Good luck with the tagline. I wish I could think of something helpful for you, but I'm stumped!
Carol Riggs said…
Hey, nice to read the summary of OUT OF THE WATER! Sounds like a good plot, with the romance adding spice and an extra dimension to it. :)

Also, your page critique is up on my blog today! Just freshly posted! :)

Artzicarol Ramblings
Deniz Bevan said…
Whee, thanks everyone!
I know, it really is hard. I've got to remember the deadline is Friday... I'll stare at your line tomorrow Nadja and see if I can come up with anything better, I really like yours!

Yours is funny Chris, but I don't think I can use it for historical romance [g]

So tempted to write 'nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!'

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