First Campaign Challenge and Theresa Milstein's Celebration

First Challenge of the Third Writers' Platform Building Campaign is here!

Right off, here's my entry, tweaked from my novel Out of the Water:

The door swung open.

Her hands shook, though she could not tell if it was anticipation or apprehension.

There was a narrow atrium, and beyond that another doorway. She advanced a step, and a shadow filled the arch. A tall shadow with broad shoulders.

Her heart tripped faster, and she knew it was anticipation.

"Peri?" A whisper in the dark.

She barrelled forward as he strode towards her and they crashed together in the centre of the atrium, his arms wrapping tightly about her. He did not stop, but circled around with her in his arms, nudging her through the archway, repeating her name over and over, until her knees buckled against the side of a divan and he fell on top of her across the cushions.

There was a hunger in his expression she had not seen before, his dark eyes burning with need, the future in their depths. Her husband, Baha, in a city she had not imagined at all; yet off the ship and in their own rooms at last. It was real and she wanted it, but was she allowed to give in to that want, when her family would gainsay it?

The door swung shut.

The rules were as follows: "Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, "The door swung open". These four words will be included in the word count. If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), use the same beginning words and end with the words: "the door swung shut" (also included in the word count). For those who want an even greater challenge, make your story 200 words EXACTLY!"

I did all three!

Don't forget - Theresa's having a celebration! Join in the fun and you might win!

Thank you to Deirdra Eden-Coppel for this lovely award!

Comments

Len Lambert said…
Great writing! I'm intrigued as to where Baha had been? And you did all 3, including 200 words exactly! Impressive! Thanks Deniz!
Zan Marie said…
I like it, but you know that already. ; ) To be able to do this in context of your WIP just makes it sweeter.
CherylAnne Ham said…
Very nice. I want to know what happens next!
Susan Oloier said…
Most impressive, especially since this is part of your wip.
I like your blog site, as well. New follower.
Amanda Milner said…
Very intriguing! I want to know more! Very cool that it's taken from your WIP. ☺
I want to know what happens next!

Congratulations on the award. :)

My entry.
bridget said…
I like it. you could sense the desire. Mine is #72
That second line sucked me in :) Great story!
Julius Cicero said…
Just like a tractor beam, it pulled me in, wanting to read more.
Carol Riggs said…
Wow, 200 words exactly, great job!!! And so romantic too. ;o) It's fun to see how many different ways people are writing this!
Deniz Bevan said…
Thank you Len, Zan Marie, Sarah and CherylAnne! I just can't seem to write anything that's not related to the novel :-)

Welcome, Susan! Thanks for following!

Thank you Amanda, Eagle and Bridget!

And thanks Jessica, Julius and Carol. It's lots of fun making the rounds and seeing what everyone else has written.
Miranda Hardy said…
Very powerful description and emotions. Love it. I also love historical fiction. I look forward to your future posts.
Deniz Bevan said…
Thanks very much, Miranda!
GKJeyasingham said…
Good job. The ending certainly raised many questions and got me interested about your WIP!

And thanks for letting me know about my entry being shortlisted! Made my day, it did.

And congrats on the award!
Sheri L. Swift said…
Very nicely done, def steam! You made me want to read the next page and previous. ; )
Deniz Bevan said…
Thanks GK and Sheri! I need all the encouragement I can get on this last round of edits.
Congratulations, Deniz! Your flash fiction has been chosen to go on to stage two of the competition. There will be a semi-final (stage three) and a final (stage four). Good luck with the next stages.

Great job expressing such emotion, in so few words!
Medeia Sharif said…
Great piece. Many of the other ones I'm reading are disturbing, so it's nice to see some romance. :)

Have a great weekend.
Angie Cothran said…
Love the romance. You had my heart beating :)
D.J. Kirkby said…
Wow, that was HAWT!
Dora Hiers said…
LOVE the passion in this story, and what a cool idea to incorporate your wip into the challenge! Nice job.

Congrats on moving forward to the next round, Deniz.
alberta ross said…
I liked it came from your book - passion was felt - looking foward to reading more - well done
Good stuff!
Thanks for joining the Insecure Writer's Support Group! Look forward to your first post on October 5.
Deniz Bevan said…
Woo hoo! Thanks for the great news, Erin!

Thank you Medeia, Angie, DJ, Dora and alberta. So excited!

Thank you Alex! It's a great idea for a group.
J.L. Campbell said…
Good job with conveying her anxiety and at meeting her lover again.
MISH said…
Full of passion and intense emotions ... a nice romantic response to the prompt ! Well done !
My entry at no.#59
Deniz Bevan said…
Thanks Joy and Mish!
raelynbarclay said…
Now I really must read your story :)
Linda Gray said…
Congratulations on completing the first challenge of the Campaign. That looks like a good story! Glad to have found your blog.
L'Aussie said…
Hi Deniz, I just came by to make sure i'd read your story and I hadn't! How did that happen? Great use of the prompts. Lots of tension and atmosphere. Well done.

Denise
Coleen Patrick said…
Hi Deniz! Love the passion in your story, and would like to read more :) Thanks for stopping by my site--sorry for the tech issues (asked my hub to make sure it's not a problem with my site). Plus, thanks so much for the great news!
Katie Dodge said…
Ooh la la! Great job! I enjoyed! :D
Now that's a steamy scene. You pulled it off quite well. Great visual tension throughout.

Awesome job, Deniz! :)
Deniz Bevan said…
Thank you Linda!

Glad you found me, Denise :-)

Thanks Coleen - glad you saw my comment, anyway.

Thanks so much Katie and David!
Wonderful passion and romance! Congrats on moving on to the next stage.

Mine is #291: http://thewarriormuse.blogspot.com/2011/09/first-campaign-challenge-flash-fiction.html

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