Pitch Polish, ROW80, John Green, and "Rosey the Dragon"

s many of you are, I'm participating in the Gearing Up To Get An Agent blogfest. I didn't get in among the first 200 to submit their pitch, so I'm sharing mine here. Maybe you can help...

Here's what I had for Rosa's story, Out of the Water:

After she becomes separated from her family as they flee their Spanish homeland - and the Inquisition - the last thing eighteen-year-old Rosa expects to find is love.

Her one hope of reaching Constantinople and finding her family lies with a stranger, Baha, a Muslim artist from the Ottoman Empire. Rosa's drive to find her loved ones is matched by a deepening desire for the man at her side. Yet despite all his help in reuniting them, her family rejects this man of a different faith, forcing her to choose between them.

When janissaries arrest her father and brother, Rosa and Baha risk everything on a daring rescue. Together they will prove that their love is stronger than their differences... if the Sultan's Grand Vizier doesn't throw them both into the dungeons first.

OUT OF THE WATER is a 15th-century historical romance complete at just over 100,000 words, set in Spain and Turkey.

I completely overhauled it this afternoon:

In 15th-century Spain, when eighteen-year-old captive Rosa deToledo seizes her one chance to escape the clutches of the Inquisition, the last thing she expects to find is love.

Only a few miles into the woods, her path crosses with Baha, an older Muslim artist. He not only helps rescue her relatives, but agrees to guide them safely to Constantinople, the heart of the Ottoman Empire, where she hopes to reunite with her parents.

Rosa's drive to find her loved ones is matched by a deepening desire for the brave man at her side. Yet despite all his help in reuniting them, her parents rejects this man of a different faith, forcing her to choose between them.

When janissaries arrest her father and brother, Rosa and Baha risk everything on a daring rescue. Together they will prove that their love is stronger than their differences... if the Sultan's Grand Vizier doesn't throw them both into the dungeons first.

Historical romance OUT OF THE WATER is complete at just over 100,000 words.

Then I checked my email... Last week, agent Suzie Townsend offered a personal reply to anyone who queried her that week. Though she passed on Rosa's story as not her kind of concept, she specifically mentioned that the query (the first one, above) was a good one. So my dilemma is: which one should I continue querying with?

Theresa Milstein had a fun meme on Facebook the other day: Take the title of the last book you read and add 'with a chainsaw'. I've got: Ah King, With a Chainsaw; Hallowe'en, With a Chainsaw; and The Ecclesiastical History of England, With a Chainsaw.

I've been interviewed by Morgen Bailey (#494 on the list)!

A week or so ago I devoured John Green's The Fault in Our Stars (thanks Medeia!) in a couple of days. Then I went on John Green's website, reading the FAQs of the story, for I wasn't ready to let the characters go. Also found this lovely quote in the Guardian's review: "What I loved about The Fault In Our Stars is that the journey that Hazel went on wasn't acceptance of death - she'd completed that before the novel began - but on the acceptance of life." Everyone should read this book!

Also last week, my mother dug up and scanned a story I wrote when I was 10. Hope you like it!

Pleased to report that I'm back on track with part of my goals for A Round of Words in 80 Days: typed up another 2000 words of Fred and Lyne's story just yesterday!