Monday, 5 March 2012

Second Challenge for the Fourth Campaign - Warning! Contains Nuances of Certain Activities - Also, an Award

Woo! This one's a doozy, Rach!

I won't copy out all the prompts/rules, but here are the one's I've followed:

"Write a short story/flash fiction piece of less than 200 words based on the prompts" - I've chosen prompt 5:


"For added difficulty/challenge: Ask Challenge entrants to critique your writing"

So, have at it!

This is a scene shortened from the original incident in Rome, Rhymes and Risk. Ayten and Devran escaped from their kidnappers that morning and have been walking/running/hiding all day. Tonight they've made camp, with a bit of fire...
The dark woods pressed close all around their camp.

Stirring the fire one last time, he tossed the fir twig onto the flames.

Ayten dozed in the crook of his arm. The blanket had slipped off her shoulder, but her skin was warm against his. They hardly needed the fire.

Her fingers had landed in his lap; if he shifted, they'd be close to - ah.

She hadn't stirred. One by one he raised her fingers, took them in his hand, and tugged them forward to cover him.

"Beautiful girl," he whispered in her ear, and she smiled with her eyes closed, and drew herself up.

Her breasts rose with her movement, and he tasted her gold-shadowed skin, lit by the fire. She arched her back, and her hand fell away from his lap.

"Touch me," he murmured, kissing up her neck, into her hair, redolent of pine needles. He wrapped his hand about hers and guided her, his need at the edge already. His breath came short.

***

"I was right," he said, some time later.

She lay on his chest, hand curled over his heart. "Mmm?"

He traced a forefinger up her arm. "We don't need the fire."

Cat gave me a lovely award!

Here're my answers to the award questions:

What's your favourite...
colour: purple - or yellow
animal: my cats Frodo and Sam
number: seven
non-alcoholic drink: coffee, with warm milk
pattern: Tolkien's Tree of Amalion (and his friezes and emblems)
flower: jasmine

What are your passions?: reading and writing

Facebook or Twitter: I'm on Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, and Tumblr

Getting or giving presents?: both!

This award goes to... Everyone who's stopping by from the campaign and would like a little ray of sunshine!

29 comments:

Nadja Notariani said...

Die schreiben ist heisse!! haha.

Really great excerpt/entry, Deniz. Loved the flow of dialogue, description, emotion melded together.....'redolent with pine'...favorite phrase. :)

Siv Maria said...

Beautifully descriptive and nicely toasted :)

meradeth said...

Nice! Well, er, pictured in so few words!

Rachel Morgan said...

"gold-shadowed skin, lit by the fire." <--- beautiful :-)

xx Rachel
My entry

Tara Tyler said...

definitely different!
and sweet imagery!

S.P. Bowers said...

Nice scene. I'm going to have to think about this challenge.

My favorite flower is an Iris.

Cherie Reich said...

Great imagery. I love the last line. :)

Jamie Gibbs said...

Nice flash fiction; you set the scene pretty damn well :D

Morgan said...

Yummmmm... I like me some steam ;) Really awesome. Off to go "like" ;)

Nancy Thompson said...

Great imagery! What was I thinking? I thought we had to use all the prompts. Now I see we didn't. Oh well, I gave it my best try. I'm entry #5.

Nas Dean said...

Loved the excerpt, Deniz. Congrats on the award and your aswers are interesting!

Romance Book Haven said...

Oh! The cliffhanger? Nice excerpt, very well done!

Ashley Nixon said...

So. Much. Tension. lol.
Great job--I loved the "not needing the fire" aspect! Very nice!

Rek said...

Very good entry...nice steamy without being obvious scene. So Finally Devran is having a good time, poor guy. :)

Jennifer Fischetto said...

Nice job creating his sexual tension. :)

Susan Fields said...

Great entry! And I love your cats names! :)

sue said...

excellent sensory images
Sue #48

KSCollier said...

Good work!

DeniseCovey_L_Aussie said...

Hey Deniz, this is an awesome treatment of the prompt! Congrats on your award too!

Denise

C.M.Brown said...

A little bit of heat there! Nicely done!

Nick Wilford said...

Nice intimate scene, without being over the top. Well done!

Traci Kenworth said...

Nice!!

Mina Burrows said...

I liked it. It certainly can get hot by the camp fire. Nice job!

Deniz Bevan said...

Thank you so much everyone! You've given me lots of confidence, I was worried at first about posting this scene...

The Capillary said...

I can definitley say I wasn't expecting a little bit of romance in this Challenge. Well done!

#46

The Golden Eagle said...

Interesting use of the prompt! :) Great entry.

Jessica Salyer said...

Definitely didn't need the fire. ;) nicely done.

kelworthfiles said...

Hot flash, coming through! ;) Thanks for sharing it.

Deniz Bevan said...

Thanks guys!

Books I'm Reading and Finished Books

  • Hidden by Catherine Mackenzie
  • secret beta read 2
  • ***Reading At Intervals***
  • The Wars by Timothy Findley (reread)
  • So Anyway... by John Cleese
  • (Subterranean collection) John Scalzi
  • Nightmares and Dreamscapes by Stephen King (loved My Pretty Pony)
  • What to Expect in Baby's First Year
  • Baby's First Year for Dummies
  • Beowulf and Sellic Spell by J. R. R. Tolkien
  • Parade's End by Ford Madox Ford
  • The War of the Ring - Book 8 in the History of Middle Earth series by Christopher Tolkien and J R R Tolkien (reread)
  • 11 Doctors 11 Stories by various authors (including Neil Gaiman)
  • Creed or Chaos? by Dorothy Sayers
  • The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien manuscripts edited by J. D. Rateliff
  • Moby Dick by Herman Melville
  • The Jerusalem Bible
  • ***Finished Books***
  • The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
  • Moo, Baa, La La La by Sandra Boynton
  • But Not the Hippopotamus by Sandra Boynton
  • Oh, Whistle, And I'll Come To You, My Lad by M. R. James (short story) (1904)
  • Chu's Day by Neil Gaiman (reread)
  • My Uncle Oswald by Roald Dahl
  • Usborne board books
  • Down and Out in Paris and London by George Orwell
  • Lila by Marilynne Robinson (so lovely)
  • Flowers for Mrs Harris by Paul Gallico
  • secret beta read!
  • The Woman Who Went to Bed for a Year by Sue Townsend
  • HELP! Food Allergies Coming To Dinner by Kait Nolan
  • This Heart of Mine by Brenda Novak
  • The Owl Service by Alan Garner
  • Two Caravans by Monica Lewycka
  • Aunt Sass by P. L. Travers
  • An Imperial Affliction by Peter Van Houten (actually a few pages of the story, written by John Green for the film of his novel The Fault In Our Stars)
  • January Brings the Snow by Sara Coleridge (poem)
  • Kissing song by Neil Gaiman (poem)
  • The Mother by Nettie Palmer (poem)
  • William Tell Told Again by P. G. Wodehouse
  • Her Ladyship's Companion by Joanna Bourne
  • The Long Way Home by Louise Penny
  • How the Light Gets In by Louise Penny
  • Mes P'tits Contes, legends of Swiss cantons
  • see the 2014 list and statistics at http://thegirdleofmelian.blogspot.ch/2014/12/books-read-in-2014-review.html
  • see the 2013 list and statistics at http://thegirdleofmelian.blogspot.ca/2014/01/toast-to-professor-books-read-in-2013.html
  • see the 2012 list and statistics here http://thegirdleofmelian.blogspot.ca/2012/12/the-hobbit-review-and-year-end-books.html
  • see the 2011 statistics on http://thegirdleofmelian.blogspot.ca/2012/01/books-read-in-2011-statistics-fourth.html
  • see the 2011 list at http://thegirdleofmelian.blogspot.ca/2012/01/books-read-in-2011.html
  • see the 2010 list at http://thegirdleofmelian.blogspot.com/2010/12/books-read-in-2010-listed-here.html
  • see the 2009 list at http://thegirdleofmelian.blogspot.com/2009/12/books-read-in-2009-part-ii.html
  • also in 2009 at http://thegirdleofmelian.blogspot.com/2009/12/books-read-in-2009-part-iv.html
  • see the 2008 list at http://thegirdleofmelian.blogspot.com/2008/12/books-read-in-2008-part-ii.html
  • also in 2008 at http://thegirdleofmelian.blogspot.com/2008/12/books-read-in-2008-part-vi.html
  • also in 2008 at http://thegirdleofmelian.blogspot.com/2008/12/books-read-in-2008-part-iv.html